Is ‘Googlism’ the new religion?

Are Larry Sergey and Eric the Holy Trinity of the dot-com era? That’s the notion of The Church of Google which suggests their handiwork is born of man but has become “the closest humankind has ever come to directly experiencing an actual God (as typically defined).”

The religious movement has its own name – Googlism (the followers of which are called Googlists) – and its own set of commandments including “Thou shalt not use Google as a verb to mean the use of any lesser Search Engine.”

There’s even an annual religious holiday on September 14th the date on which the domain name was registered in 1997.

It’s all a spoof of course but The Church of Google applies that typically relentless and unforgiving ‘geek logic’ to making the case for Googlism and against well just about every other organised religion (and quite a few disorganised ones).

“We reject supernatural gods on the notion they are not scientifically provable” decree the Googlists. “We believe Google should rightfully be given the title of ‘God’ as She exhibits a great many of the characteristics traditionally associated with such Deities in a scientifically provable manner.”

(And no we didn’t know that Google was female until now either).

The Church of Google offers what it calls nine proofs of the ascendancy of Google to God-like status:

1. Google is the closest thing to an omniscient (all-knowing) entity in existence.

2. Google is everywhere at once (omnipresent).

3. Google answers prayers. (“As an example you can quickly find information on alternative cancer treatments or new and innovative medical discoveries and generally anything that resembles a typical prayer.”)

4. Google is potentially immortal.

5. Google is infinite. (The internet can theoretically grow forever.)

6. Google remembers all.

7. Google can do no evil. (Google’s corporate philosophy is “do no evil”.)

8. Google is believed. (The term “Google” is searched for more than the terms God Jesus Allah Buddha Christianity and Islam combined and quite possibly even including Jedi which rated rather highly as a religion according to the last Australian census.)

9. Evidence of Google’s existence is abundant. No faith is required.

All of this has of course attracted its share of hate mail naturally from Web-surfing God-fearing Christians.

  • Harry gold

    Thou shall not have false apps
    Do not take the word of SIRI in vain

  • Not a Neckbeard


  • Daniel Kjær Silset

    This is fantastic where can i find more